There are two types of identity crises. One is where you have no solid commitments and are searching for a path that has meaning for you. The second is when you do have commitments but they conflict with your values.

At some point in your life, you will experience one or both of these types of identity crises . For some it happens early; we have no idea what we want to be when we “grow up.” Or perhaps later on, we don’t feel as fulfilled as we imagined we’d be in our chosen career. For many of us, a life-changing event leads us to question our path. Parenthood, layoffs, health issues are examples of these events. We might appear “successful” on the outside, but feel burnt out and/ or undervalued on the inside.

My Story

I am no stranger to identity crisis.

I first started questioning my path in my 20s. I felt I was being overworked in an area that wasn’t challenging me enough. I was fresh out of university and was used to being challenged intellectually. I had all these ideas and concepts in my mind that I was eager to put into practice, but didn’t have the opportunity to do so in my role.

As I slowly progressed to more challenging roles, I still felt like there was a mis-match between my passions, strengths, and my role. By this time, my confidence started to wane, as I started to feel as though my ideas weren’t valued. Then I experienced workplace burnout: I was battling anxiety attacks, carpel tunnel syndrome, and infertility, among other health issues. I felt like I had lost control over my life and was frustrated and tired. This was followed by the most painful experience of my life. I came down with a very severe case of shingles on my face that even threatened my vision. Shingles can be triggered by stress, and of course this further contributed to the stress I was already feeling.

I almost immediately resigned from my job to focus on myself. Miraculously, two weeks later I became pregnant naturally, and rescinded my resignation. A near-death experience while delivering my twins was the tipping point in terms of finding the clarity I needed. What I learned is I was living my life all wrong. I was not aligning my values to my work and had lost the passion that led me to a career in helping others solve their people problems to begin with. That is when I committed to the journey of identifying my authentic purpose.

I became certified as a coach, and started Dialogue as a space for women, like me, to gain more clarity, growth, and purpose in their lives.

Through studying Japanese philosophy and Positive Psychology concepts like flow, I came up with the model below for finding your purpose. Based on this model, there are many ways to deeply explore each area, but for simplicity’s sake, I’ve condensed this into 4 questions. Keep scrolling to see what areas you need to clarify to be confident of your own path.

4 Questions to Lead You to Your Dream Job

1. What I am I really good at?

   When you have clarity of your signature strengths, how you can apply them, and market them in a cohesive way, you are already one step ahead of the game.

2. What does the world desperately need?

   This one is always changing! Especially now, during a pandemic, it’s important to re-evaluate if what you are working toward is something that will continue to be in demand. And of course, in the question it is implied that it’s also something people will pay for if you plan to make a living from your work.

3. What breaks your heart?

   or

   What section of the book store can I spend hours in?

   If you can answer one or both of these questions, you have found your passion. And you may have multiple passions, and that’s ok. There are always ways to either integrate passions, or be involved in them in different, but still effective ways.

4. What work do I find challenging and engaging?
   This is something that can be a bit tricky. There is a fine line between challenging and overwhelming. You want to find work that challenges you to grow into your skills using your signature strengths. It’s so important to be challenged in a role, but often overlooked for women. Studies show women are more likely to take on roles that have less room for growth. For moms, like me, it actually helps us be more effective with the time we have, although it may seem counterintuitive. If our challenges align to our strength, we find flow and can be more productive.

I truly hope this post was helpful for you. If you found value in it, please share and comment below if you have questions or thoughts.

BEFORE YOU GO…. I just created a new tool that I would love to share with you. It is a clarity wheel exercise that will instantly identify the 3 areas of your life that need attention now so you can have more purpose and impact. Click the button below to have it emailed to you.