According to research cited in Forbes Magazine, roughly 40% of people make New Year resolutions, but only 8% actually achieve them. This doesn’t surprise me, considering the lofty resolutions we tend to make. There is a famous quote by Norman Vincent Peale, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land in the stars.” While this sounds lovely, for many of us the moon seems so daunting that we barely make it off the ground.

So, how can we make resolutions that actually stick?

1.    Don’t lose sight of what’s going well.

Start with a positive mindset. Before updating my list for this upcoming year, I evaluated my success against last year’s goals. I was surprised to find out that I didn’t fare as poorly as I thought I did. For example, I didn’t become a minimalist and declutter our entire home as I resolved to do. I did, however, scrutinize purchases to avoid increasing clutter. I also completed the difficult (and emotional) task of donating most of our twin boys’ outgrown baby items. Knowing what worked well now allows me to build upon the successes, instead of focusing on what went wrong. I truly believe that mindset makes up more than half of the game.

2.    Start small and pace yourself.

Make sure your goals are realistic, attainable, and spread evenly throughout the year. Ask yourself, “Which resolutions, if achieved, will have the greatest influence on a) overall satisfaction and b) achievement of your remaining goals?” This is especially important in areas where you consistently have not seen results. For example, if losing weight is a recurring goal year after year, break it down into manageable parts. Consider the following example: in January instead of giving up all sugar (impossible for most of us), create general guidelines to improve your current habits. Make sure it’s something you feel confident you will stick to. In the beginning, don’t focus on weight at all. Then, once you’ve found a good diet you can stick to, find a fitness routine that you feel comfortable with and will enjoy. You can also remove other goals on your list that overlap, like increasing fun or connection, as examples. Instead, commit to creating a fitness goal that is fun or completed with a reliable partner or group you can connect with. Combine and simplify whenever possible.

3.    Focus on behaviours, not just results.

While it’s important to have an idea of what success will look like, in the beginning the hardest part is replacing unwanted habits and limiting beliefs. Staying focused on the bigger picture of “why” you are making the change and “who you must become” to make it, is the best way to tackle this challenge. For example, one of my goals is to take my meditation practice to the next level. After almost 90 days of a simple 10-minute guided practice, I am not feeling like the resilient mental warrior I aspire to be. While I have some idea of what “next level” means, it’s hard to stay on track when I’m not seeing results. I remind myself that is important to me because I believe it will help me achieve my broader goals of being a better parent, coach, and writer. The behaviours I will focus on are consistency, increasing practice time, exercising "letting go", and being kind to myself by simply observing when I attach to thoughts. 

4.    Commit to the first step.

As soon as you make the resolution, commit to the first step, no matter how small. In coaching, I always refer to Beckhard’s formula for change to best support my clients. It is a simple and powerful tool introduced in 1987 (Gleicher, Beckhard, and Harris). The important elements are dissatisfaction with your current state, a clear vision of what you want, and taking the first step toward this end goal. While there are other complex elements that might create resistance to the change you seek, you must at least start with these three elements to overcome the resistance. Going back to the losing weight example, your first step can be as simple as telling someone your intentions, looking up one healthy recipe that looks or sounds like something you would enjoy, or downloading a free fitness app.

5.    Ask for help.

Old habits die hard. But you don’t have to do it alone and it doesn’t have to be excruciating. Soliciting help can give you the clarity, structure, and motivation you need to move forward. Referring to my meditation resolution, I have used guided apps for some time now and am now looking for someone who can help guide me on a more personal level. This will allow me to learn more specific techniques and create a more deliberate space to practice. Talking to someone can also help to get you excited and engaged to build the motivation you will need for the long haul. Many professionals can also effectively uncover blind spots, elicit deeper values and replace limiting beliefs.

*Bonus: Incorporate strengths when possible.

In an upcoming post, I’ll be sharing more about Positive Psychology research around strengths and virtues. I will provide insight on how strengths can help you achieve your goals and authentic happiness. If you’re interested, you can click here to take strengths survey developed by top leaders in the field. The basic results are free, and you have the option to purchase a more detailed report. The survey takes approximately 20 minutes to complete. Once you know your strengths, or if you feel you already have a good awareness of what these are, ask yourself, “How can I use my strengths to make achieving this goal more enjoyable and easy?” For example, critical thinking is one of my strengths so I start by making a list of ways I can achieve my goal, do my research, and then weigh the pros and cons for each option. This also links to my #1 tip above of keeping a positive mindset. Focus on being strong, not on what’s wrong. It will also make that critical first step more likely to happen.

I hope these tips were insightful and I implore you to incorporate at least one or two of these when you create your resolutions this year. Also, I invite you to subscribe to the newsletter with updates to the diaBlog to receive more resources to help you achieve your career and life goals. For signing up, you will also receive a free workbook I’ve created called the Life Makeover Starter Kit. The workbook includes an exercise to get you clear on what to focus on, more tips for goal setting, a personal development plan template, and a tool to create balance in your life.

Feel free to share with family and friends using the hashtag #startadialogue. I’d love to hear how you will incorporate these tips.